The Most Important Leadership Quality Right Now
As I make progress on my Agile Leadership book- a quality I don’t talk about so much is empathy and compassion. It wasn’t in my original definition of agile leadership. Yet, it is the most important leadership characteristic- in particular right now, as we see no end in sight of the grueling pandemic.
A new word that has entered into all of our vocabularies over the past weeks is ‘Languishing’- thanks to Adam Grant who wrote a piece on it in the New York Times. Instantly, so many people could relate- never before have I had the same article forwarded to me from ten different people.
The pandemic has been devastating for so many- most people know someone who has suffered from COVID-19 or lost a family member or good friend to it.
Beginning of this year, I proclaimed to my husband, we have done relatively well. I gave birth right when it was all getting started and there was high uncertainty. Schools and daycares were shut down and my maternity leave was focused on simply keeping the newborn alive while having a high energy 4 year old causing complete mayhem around us.
Summer came and daycares opened up so we went back to some sort of normalcy. Going back to work wasn’t so hard as my husband started his leave and took up a lot of the house work. We made a good team.
But then came march, the one year anniversary of the lockdown and we were in another lockdown and we had been so for months. We could feel it now- that languishing feeling.
As leaders we are not immune nor should we pretend to be. Now more than ever, the leadership trait that is needed is empathy. Recognize, everyone has their own struggles, and most people are finding this hard. Even in Norway, yes we are lucky, we have a great public healthcare system. But mental health issues have been on the rise throughout the pandemic. What your team needs most right now, is empathy and compassion.
So how can we show compassion? I spent some time today reflecting on how I can show up with more empathy and compassion.
- You ask how they are doing- and then you listen.
Really listen. Don’t think about your next meeting or to-do item. Stay curious, ask questions and don’t jump to advice giving mode. Its your job as a leader to know when your team needs help and support, however, if you don’t listen and ask good questions you will never know.
- Do something nice for your team.
Something as simple as sending them dinner or flowers. Just so that they know you are thinking about them, and recognize that this is a difficult period
- Reduce the workload.
This is the hardest of them all. If you don’t have kids, you don’t realize that for the past 4 months daycare and schools have been either closed or working on limited schedule. Or if you are single, you haven’t been able to socialize the same way or even go to see your family (especially if they live in another town or country). Plus working from home has led to countless unnecessary meetings that fill up our days. People have been working extra hours for more than a year. Most of them need a break. Everyone is doing the best they can. Extend that deadline if its not super critical. Be better at prioritizing team goals, focus on a few things each quarter.
- Be realistic on your expectations
Understand that not everyone is showing up with their usual energetic self or their most energetic self at the moment. Don’t expect they will raise their hand and volunteer to take on that additional task or organize the team quiz. Many of us are exhausted and can not be as proactive as before. I have heard the word ‘exhausted’ been used almost every day in different context. Cut people some slack and trust that the lack of initiative is temporary.
I am not saying I do this very well- this is more a reflection and note for myself on what I need to do more.
Can you share what you are doing for your team or would like to see more of from your leaders?